For YITS we had to spend a WHOLE DAY with nothing to distract us. That means no reading, no music, no TV, no computer, no phone calls, nothing social etc etc.
It was torture. I started the day off well. I read some Romans and prayed, but under an hour later I was laying in a weird position on my bed and playing with a poster on my wall whilst singing ‘Summer Lovin’ to myself. That was at 11 o’clock. Not a good start to the day.
It felt as if it was my version of ‘The Breakfast Club’…except that I wasn’t in detention and there wern’t other people in the room. But if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I mean. It starts of as boring, about midway through the afternoon you deal with the crap in your life and then at the end of the day it’s sort of ‘happy’ time [for lack of a better word].
This so did not happen. I felt as if I got no response at all. I didn’t learn anything at all.
Which left me asking…Where was God? Was I doing the right things? Do I really have faith? Do I really believe in this God stuff? I pretty much did my head in.
The lamenting thing we did on Wednesday would really come in handy right now. At about 10 o’clock that night, I ended up saying “Stuff it God! I can’t be bothered thinking about it now! I am going to bed!”
I didn’t get to sleep till two, but that’s not the point. I still feel like I am hitting a brick wall. With me on one side and God on the other. I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing to further my relationship with God. Does anyone have any advice?
AHHHHH! Man this SUCKS!
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