For YITS we had to spend a WHOLE DAY with nothing to distract us. That means no reading, no music, no TV, no computer, no phone calls, nothing social etc etc.

It was torture. I started the day off well. I read some Romans and prayed, but under an hour later I was laying in a weird position on my bed and playing with a poster on my wall whilst singing ‘Summer Lovin’ to myself. That was at 11 o’clock. Not a good start to the day.

It felt as if it was my version of ‘The Breakfast Club’…except that I wasn’t in detention and there wern’t other people in the room. But if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I mean. It starts of as boring, about midway through the afternoon you deal with the crap in your life and then at the end of the day it’s sort of ‘happy’ time [for lack of a better word].

This so did not happen. I felt as if I got no response at all. I didn’t learn anything at all.

Which left me asking…Where was God? Was I doing the right things? Do I really have faith? Do I really believe in this God stuff? I pretty much did my head in.

The lamenting thing we did on Wednesday would really come in handy right now. At about 10 o’clock that night, I ended up saying “Stuff it God! I can’t be bothered thinking about it now! I am going to bed!”

I didn’t get to sleep till two, but that’s not the point. I still feel like  I am hitting a brick wall. With me on one side and God on the other. I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing to further my relationship with God. Does anyone have any advice?



About blair

Generally described as "a bit odd", loves books, adores music, thinks movies are wonderful and is rather attatched to art.
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