It’s taken a while for me to gather my thoughts on this horrible tragedy in Victoria. I don’t know anyone who died, but I do know people who lost their homes. I grew up in Whittlesea, I have friends in Kinglake and Healesville, my family live in Yarra Glen and my Aunt and Uncle live in St Andrews.
I still can’t believe it. You know, you never think it’s going to happen to you. The fires were a street away from my parents house. The emotions I am attempting to feel are way to big for my tiny little mind. How can you grieve with the thousands effected and still continue functioning normally?
The truth is you can’t. Everything happening in my life seems to be irrelevant compared to the fires.
I ordered my iMac last week and it has taken ages to get here. This morning, as I was waiting at the station, I saw the courier van pull up in front of my house. Finally my iMac had arrived. But Kyla didn’t hear them knock. And so now I have to wait till Monday to get it. I admit I was, and still am, a bit pissy. But as I was sitting on the train, I thought, ‘Oh well. It’s a computer. People have lost family and friends from the fires. People have lost their homes. What is waiting a weekend for a computer compared to rebuilding your entire life?’
The thing is, last week, before the fires even began, this whole ordeal with the iMac would have been something to be upset about, right? What about whinging about your boring job? Or complaining about missing out on Kings of Leon tickets?
I don’t know anymore.
There are always tragedies happening in the world. People are dying of starvation, AIDS. People are homeless. People are being violated. There are people killing people.
So shouldn’t I be upset about that too? Shouldn’t I be finding it hard to function normally all the time? How do you grieve for the entire world and still get upset when your favourite jeans tear? I don’t think it is humanly possible. I don’t want to numb myself to all this. I don’t want to ignore it.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it is fantastic how Australia, and the world is responding. But what happens when this whole thing is over? Do we go back to buying the latest iPhones and CD’s? It seems so inconsistent. I guess it’s just so easy to ignore something when it’s in a different country.
Sorry. This is a bit of a rant. I hope you get what I’m trying to say.
I think I just got some perspective, that’s all.