Where two oceans meet

Ok, so yeah, my post Unlock the Door was a bit dramatic…ok more than a bit.

The thing I love about God is that He is extremely creative. He can use the most rubbish experience and turn it into something beautiful. Since Soul Survivor I haven’t really made anything. I’ve done the odd scribble in my journal, but overall I’ve sort of been squashing my creative impulses. This doesn’t sound like a good thing but I think it is part of a process. I have sort have been limiting my creativity to cute & crafty. I put myself into an Elsie Flannigan box. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Elsie Flannigan, but it’s not all I am.

It’s like, I took a piece of clay and moulded it into what I wanted it to look like. The whole Soul Survivor experience was like God squashing it flat and now, he’s slowly remoulding it into what it should be. I’m experimenting with my creativity and attempting things I haven’t tried before. God has given me passion for music, beauty, movies, books and particularly morbid things  for a reason. I’m trying to see how I can use all of those things for him. Making things makes me happy.

When I was at Soul Survivor, I went and saw the lovely Dusk speak about vocation and she used this quote.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness & the world’s deep hunger meet” – Frederic Buechner

I’ve found my deep gladness, now I just have to find where it meets with the world’s deep hunger.

Unlock the door

At Soul Survivor this year I only sold two paintings which kind of crushed me a little*. The previous year I sold almost all the paintings I made – and I didn’t even like them! This year, when I put so much of myself into them and only sold two, it made me feel massively rejected.

Ok, so I know that this year there was a bit of a different crowd and sometimes people just aren’t in the right mood for art. I also know that I can’t expect everyone to love my art…or anyone for that matter. It’s just that for my entire life, this has been the one thing that I have been good at. I got an art award at school, my friends and family are always going on about my creativity – which, let’s be honest, I was quite ok with. That was me, Blair the creative one.

For the last year I have been toying with the idea of having my own shop and selling my art for a living. I know that this would involve a lot of hard work, but I was confident that there were people out there that would buy it. When this Soul Survivor market stall came up, I had it in my head that it was test to see if I would be successful.

So after getting to the end of the market, and only having sold two paintings, both to people I know, I felt a little more than mildly depressed. The one thing that I was good at was rejected.

I almost laughed. A friend of mine told me to “not take it personally”. Not take it personally? I put so much of myself into those paintings. How could I not take it personally?

I spent the next couple of days wondering what next. Maybe I wasn’t creative. Maybe people were just being nice. Was my art actually any good? If I wasn’t good at art, what was I good at then?

My entire identity was shaken. It still is a bit.

At Young Adults this week, our pastor and his wife came to talk to us about there experience of prophecy and the importance of it. One thing that’s really stuck in my mind is that whatever God gives you, give it away. So God has given me creativity (I think), I should use that for Him. But how?

It was really weird. I was thinking about all this yesterday and my job and my life and how I’m living from CD to CD. I was making coffee for one of the 1:45 regulars when one of them asked me “If you could get paid to do something that you love and get paid for it, what would you do?” I immediately said, “Paint and make stuff”. How funny.

So that ’s me at the moment. Just so you know.

 

*Understatement of the year.

The best things in life are free…

There are officially 2 weeks and 1 day till Soul Survivor and I am super excited.

For the last week I have been painting non-stop, and I must say that I have come up with some very cute paintings. I will post pictures as soon as I get my money from Mr Rudd and can afford a camera.

Kyla has been knitting up a storm and has made some lovely headbands and scarves. Ana has been making some cute cards and as soon as we get a badge maker we can make some badges. Marita will be joining our market stall ‘Do You Play Croquet?’ and making button earrings that are going to make her a very rich girl. AND Emily has been making some button necklaces that are very cute to sell with us. I am so excited.

I love Blythe dolls and I desperately want one except for the fact that they are ridiculously expensive. They are so cute. Sigh.

The Rabbit Hole

Soul Survivor  is almost here again! I am so excited.

I’m having another market stand, but Kyla and Ana are also contributing.

We’re going under the name of  ‘Do You Play Croquet?‘.

I’ll be painting again and I’m also hoping to be covering hardcover bibles in cute patchwork fabric. We’ll also be selling scarves, badges (hopefully), cards and possibly a few bags (if we can find a desk for Kyla’s sewing machine). I am so excited.

Last years market stand was all about painting what I thought people would buy. You know, all those cutesy asian style cartoons. This year I am painting what I like and what I think looks good. I used to worry a lot about my art not having a meaning which is a bit silly because my favourite style is Pop Art. But over the last year I have come to realise that it doesn’t matter if I paint something just because it looks good. If I’m happy about it that’s all that matters.

I don’t have any photo’s yet. I’ll try and get some up here asap. Just as soon as I can figure out a way of making the photo’s less blurry.