Can’t tell you how proud I am, Writing down things that I don’t understand

In the words of Jesus, “It is finished.”

Today I officially finished my music fast, that means I didn’t listen to my iPod or any CD’s for 3 weeks. I continue to amaze myself.

I certainly didn’t come up with the results I thought I would. I learned a lot. I am currently reading a book on Prayer and I came to notice that because I wasn’t listening to music, I was praying a lot more.

Ok, so I wasn’t really praying all that much to begin with.

Instead of listening to Arctic Monkeys at full volume, I had time to think and talk to God. A lot more time.

I realised how much I appreciate music. I was on the bus this morning listening to The White Stripes and The Cure and The whole time I was just like, “God, I LOVE music. It is AMAZING. Oh, I love it.” etc etc.

I also learnt how much I depend on music. Before the fast, whenever I was angry or frustrated about something, I would immediately switch on ‘Killing in the Name Of’ by Rage Against the Machine. When I was feeling a bit depressed I would listen to ‘Teardrops’ by Massive Attack, or ‘Hero’ by Regina Spektor. And when I was happy, Kate Nash would always get a play. I didn’t depend on God to help me, I depended on music. Which of course is just stupid.

So I’ve come out of this whole experience with something I really didn’t expect and I’m ok with that. I am going to start doing contemplation again. I’ll start with 10 mins and work my way up, because God is DEFINITELY worthy of my time. And it seems a bit silly not to talk to God when I have made a commitment to follow him.

Oh, and the whole ‘I want to know what’s happening with my future thing’? Don’t worry about it. I plan to get a job, save up and move out with Kyla. That’s all I really need to know right now. I’m just going to take it one year at a time. What’s funny is, I already knew this before I started fasting. I think God must think I’m a bit of an idiot sometimes.

Here’s another painting for my stall! I love it dearly.